if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
my favourite legend from the norse mythology is when a giant steals mjolnir and says he’ll give it back if he can have Freyja as his bride, but she refuses to go so instead Thor dresses up as her and Loki as her handmaiden and then at the wedding the giant places mjolnir in his bride’s (thor) lap and thor reveals himself and kills everybody and if that shouldn’t be made a short film with I don’t know what should
remember when ryan seacrest tried to high five a blind guy
just so we’re clear, i use
as gender-neutral and affectionate names
don’t forget son
What am I forgetting dad
You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.
Today is the day Marty McFly goes to the future!
I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”
I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS